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What I Saw at Costco this Evening
I would desperately like to include a photograph. However, even though I have been snap-happy recently, and even though the woman was extremely nonchalant, I thought she might not feel as nonchalant if I started strobing her with the flash.
Background: Most would consider me a pretty hardcore breastfeeding advocate. [Of course, it isn't my business to tell other people what to do, and I think it is best not to question why another woman chooses not to breastfeed. Breastfeeding can be difficult and it is more difficult for some than for others. Also, there may be factors at play that one can't know about.] I nursed all three of my children until they were between 18 months and two years of age. None of them ever had any formula, and none of them had any solid food before they were six months old. Also, because I never got the knack of pumping, I was never without them for the first six months of their lives. Does this qualify me as hardcore?
What I saw: As I approached the checkout line at Costco, I found myself behind a woman pushing a full cart of groceries with one arm, nursing a newborn under a blanket cradled in her other arm, and with her head kinked at an angle, talking on her cellphone at the same time! It was time for her to put her groceries on the belt, and the clerk was tentatively smiling with perhaps a slight sense of “what should I do now?”
I deliberated for a second about whether I should start moving her groceries to the belt before getting her permission (she was not paying attention to the grocery situation enough for me to gesture). Her purse was right there and well– I’m just wimpy–fear of people being angry with me and all. Then she got off the phone. So I asked if I could help, and she said yes, expressing her gratitude. It wasn’t hard to help of course and it actually sped things up for me, since I was behind her in line. As I left, I saw her still cradling the baby in one arm under the blanket, and with the other, pushing the heavy cart slowly out of the store.
What is good about this: It is great that any woman in our culture could possibly be so nonchalant about this natural and important practice. I always wanted to feel free to breastfeed anywhere, and felt I should feel free to breastfeed anywhere, but even though people were nice to me, I never made it all the way to comfort with breastfeeding whenever and wherever I went. Although I did breastfeed in public many times, I also spent a lot of time nursing in more private spots because it was more comfortable although less convenient. Breastfeeding is good for babies. Anything our culture can do to help women feel more comfortable about breastfeeding, anything that makes it more convenient, is good for babies. So yea for nonchalance!
What is bad about this: Where was this woman’s support network? Husband? Friends? Coworkers? Religious community? Kind neighbor? The woman mentioned that she couldn’t leave the baby behind and therefore couldn’t get a sitter. But could someone else not have done the shopping or gone with her? Call me, I’ll go.
Some unsolicited advice:
1. If you are breastfeeding as you approach the checkout, this is not a good time to make or receive telephone calls. If the call is that important, it is not a good time to be approaching the checkout.
2. You might find that you finish your errand more quickly if you find some place to sit down (not many at Costco I know–but how about a comfy couch or office chair, if all else fails? It isn’t more public than the check out line) and finish nursing before resuming your shopping and/or checking out.
3. If it is possible for you to hire a sitter, but you can’t/won’t because you can’t/won’t leave your baby alone, consider hiring the “sitter” to be a grocery cart “pusher” instead. An 11 year old could do that if necessary. I have one. I’ll rent her out cheap!
4. Ask for help. If you don’t have any support network to speak of, ask strangers for help. You need it and the planet is depending on you! In general, people are happy to be helpful to people with newborns.
Lastly: Hugs to all the new moms who don’t have strong support networks and are going through all that new and crazy, wonderful and scary, tough stuff for the first time and don’t know what they’re doing yet. A lot of us have been there, and we’re pulling for you.
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I have already discussed here how a Feedreader Changed My Life. But there are lots of people for whom using a feedreader doesn’t make sense. If you don’t read blogs regularly, or don’t read many blogs but do want to read this blog regularly, an e-mail subscription is probably the way to go. All you have to do is enter your e-mail address in the box at the left on the sidebar (underneath the search button). Naturally, I will not sell or distribute your address to anyone and you are free to unsubscribe at any time.
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Who Are You Thursday Feedreaders Anyway?
I am a little obsessed with statistics about my blog. That’s part of the fun of blogging right? There are two ways in which I check statistics about my blog: through Feedburner and Google Analytics. Feedburner tells me how many subscribers I have. Instead of keeping a static list of people who have subscribed, Feedburner reports the number of subscribers I have each day. This changes because although some feedreaders request feeds from Feedburner regardless of whether the user is using her computer or reading her feeds, other feedreaders pull feeds only when the computer is turned on or the feedreader activated. This means that my subscriber numbers can go both up and down. For example, on the weekends when fewer people are using their computers, I have fewer subscribers. On weekdays, the number is fairly consistent.
So, here’s what I want to know: who are you Thursday-only Feedreader people? My Thursday Feedreader stats are consistently higher. Are there a couple of you out there who only turn your computer on on Thursdays? You are a mystery to me.
“My doll is a boy!”
This past Sunday some friends invited us over to dinner. While the adults were still talking, the children tired of eating and began to disperse to go play. Duncan wanted to go play in 4 yr old Annie’s room, but she was marooned at the table waiting for her vegetables to magically disappear. Annie’s dad explained that the only thing to play with in Annie’s room was dress-ups.
“What would you like to play with?” he said. “A sword, a football, trucks, maybe some blocks?” Duncan paused, and then answered, with a huge smile: “You know what I like to play with?” “A doll. But my doll is a boy! His name is Da-da [daw daw]!” He then ran off to play, and later we observed him pushing a big tractor around with undisguised pleasure.
Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars
Pumpkin Cheesecake bars are a good alternative to pumpkin cheesecake when you need a simpler recipe (these require no water bath and cool much faster) and have a larger crowd to feed. I’ve written this for an 8×8″ pan but it doubles well in a 9×13 pan. This recipe is based on the more traditional pumpkin cheesecake recipe in Baking Illustrated (by the editors of Cook’s Illustrated) with the shortcake crust from a cheesecake bar recipe that I found elsewhere. I also included Cook’s graham cracker crust recipe, modified to fit this pan size.
Pumpkin Cheesecake Bar
Contest Reminder!
Less than a week left to enter my contest! This contest is open to everyone except Pmom and Pdad. So far the official entrants are:
1. Robin (comment)
2. Robin (subscription)
3. Julie P (comment)
4. Kacy (comment)
5. Rebecca (comment)
6. Christian F (comment)
7. zstitches (link)
8. Rachel (comment)
9. Jim F. (comment)
10. lis (comment)
11. dayna (comment)
12. liz [distinct from lis #10] (comment)
This means your chances of winning the $20 Amazon giftcard are really good! If you still wish to enter, it is possible to have up to two chances to win.
1. Make a comment on any post recent or older on this blog. The comment should not be about the contest and must be relevant to the post you are responding to. Multiple comments still earn you just one chance.
and/or
2. Subscribe to this blog in a feedreader and notify me that you have done so. E-mail me at ChocolateandGarlicatgeemail.com (do the @ and the gmail in the conventional way)
and/or
3. Link to me and notify me that you have done so.
I will use Random.org to choose the winner, January 12, 2009.
How a Feedreader Changed My Life
I like blogs. I like blogs a lot. But I have three children . . . and responsibilies. A husband . . . and responsibilities. A house . . . and responsibilities . . . or at least desires for how it should be kept up. But I still like blogs.
My problem: I have no time!
There is a solution. Well, if not a solution, then an amelioration. [Ameliorate: to make better or more tolerable.]
The feedreader.
Click to add C&G to a feedreader
The feedreader ameliorates my problem by allowing me to read more blogs in less time. It does this by pulling all my feeds into one place. A feed is the new content that a website (often a blog or a news site) makes available. On a blog, this is the new posts or the summary/teaser for those new posts (the owner of the blog chooses which). So, instead of using links, bookmarks, or favorites (or even worse, typing in the address) to go check Rarely Home Mom and then Everyday I Write the Book and then Robin’s Song and then Visual Anarchy, to see if any of them have new posts, I can check all of my favorite blogs at once.
Contest! $20 Giftcard
I am excited to announce my first contest! I am giving away a $20 giftcard to Amazon.
To win:
1. Make a comment on any of the posts on this blog–recent or ancient. The comment must be related to the post. (Comments such as “pick me” or “I want to win” are not eligible.)
and/or (you can have up to two possible chances to win)
2. Subscribe to the blog (Click subscribe on the top navigation bar and choose how you would like the feed delivered). I don’t know how to see who is subscribed (is there a way to do that?). So send an email saying that you subscribed to chocolateandgarlicatgeemail.com. (Fix the @ and the gmail so that they are normal).
I will randomly choose a winner January 12, 2009.
P.S. I told Pdad that I wanted to have this contest. He said, “Okay. . . but you know people will think that you are desperate for comments.” I replied: “Exactly!”
Today’s gratitude: 10-07-07
General:
1. I was able to listen to General Conference today, and there were several talks that should be very helpful to me–if I study and make the effort.
2. We invited Grandma C. and my sister over for dinner today. I cooked an awesome all Cook’s Illustrated meal. It was the sort of thing I never have time to do: Garlic & Chive Smashed Potatoes, Brown Sugar Glazed Acorn Squash, and Pot Roast with mushrooms and tomatoes. Each dish was delicious. I still haven’t found the Pot Roast recipe of my dreams though. I don’t think I like mushrooms and tomatoes together. I may have to go back to some sort of cream of mushroom soup and onion soup mix combo. My inner Cook’s Illustrated devotee writhes at this, but their pot roast recipes just aren’t thrilling me.
Pdad:
I am grateful for Pdad because he loves our children. I am thankful that for him being a Dad doesn’t just mean earning the money, but it also means being a Dad: knowing our kids, playing with them, spending time with them. He spent a lot of time with them today.
Amelia: She plays so well with Kate. She is a great big sister. I love how much she looks forward to time with Pdad–she’s crazy about him. I was impressed with how attentively she listened to General Conference. I think she listened to most of all four sessions. You can’t get away from it in our house with all the intercom speakers booming it–but still, it was impressive. Also, she typed up a conference bingo game for all of us all of her own accord. That was impressive too.
Duncan: Today was the first day that he has put on his pajamas all by himself. We asked him to put his pajamas on, and he ran up the stairs and put them on (correctly even–if you don’t hold two pair of pajama bottoms against him) without being reminded or nagged and without even asking for help. I don’t know what accounted for the sudden burst of obedience and ability, but I am thankful. Also, his infected eyes are looking much better today. Thank goodness for health!
Kate: What a beautiful, cheerful baby. I love her kisses. I love her slightly sour milk smell. I love her desire for me. I am so thankful that I have been able to breastfeed. I am also thankful that she is beginning to eat more solid foods. I will be sad when our last day of breastfeeding arrives, but independence will be good too.
Sister: I am thankful for my sister. We had a nice conversation today. She listened to me talk about my worries about Duncan and how to handle extended family matters. She always compliments my cooking and I thrive under that kind of praise.
Should a Nursing Mother Get Extra Time?
This is a photograph of me nursing Duncan during a break in the graduation ceremonies when I received my PhD. I know something about school and I know something about nursing, so 
recent newsmedia coverage of the Harvard medical student who asked for extra time on her licensure examination caught my eye. The student, Sophie Currier, has a blog on which she makes her case and where many of her colleagues have attacked her. Is Sophie a whiner or a winner?
AP coverage initially made the case sound open and shut. Currier has to take a 9 hour exam and asked for extra time in order to pump breast milk for her 4 month old baby. The exam board turned her down. The judge rejected her request saying,
“The plaintiff may take the test and pass, notwithstanding what she considers to be unfavorable conditions. The plaintiff may delay the test, which is offered numerous times during the year, until she has finished her breast-feeding and the need to express milk.”
When I first read this I was appalled. What was that judge thinking? Unfavorable conditions? As a person who struggles with engorgement, clogged ducts and mastitis, I don’t believe that having insufficient time to pump is merely an “unfavorable condition.” It is a very big deal. Breastfeeding mothers can’t simply skip a day. I imagine there’s considerable individual variation, but at times I have had trouble just skipping 4 hours! And, supposing we forget pain and suffering, what about the importance of sustaining the milk supply? Not nursing for an extended period is not a good idea. The result is a precipitous drop in your milk supply. This is a problem that is hard to fix because when your milk supply drops, your baby still needs milk. If you feed the baby artificial baby milk or previously pumped milk, you miss the stimulation your body needs to trigger an increase in milk production.
I did not like the judge’s phrase “[when] she has finished her breast-feeding.” 1) Calling it “her breast-feeding” makes is sound as though it is merely a lifestyle choice, as if this is about what color of hair to have. But breastfeeding isn’t some kind of feel good/I’m in touch with nature thing (or at least not only), it is about the health of mother and baby. See my other post here.
2) When did the judge think she would be “finished”? Sure, plenty of women in the U.S. only breastfeed for a few weeks or months. But breastfeeding much longer is better for the mother and the baby. The World Health Organization recommends nursing to age 2. Granted, the urgency of pumping would drop off before the baby turned two. However, if our society is going to welcome women into the workforce, it is a mistake to encourage women to see progress in their careers as balanced against the opportunity to nurse their children. Ultimately, fewer women will nurse and they will nurse for shorter periods. And other women who would have been assets in the workforce will opt out in favor of their children.