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Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.Matthew 6:19-20
A portion of my treasures
Bleach doth corrupt
I spent a few years accumulating a large collection of ice cream books. I scoured used book stores and I carefully watched for price fluctuations on Amazon.com. I didn’t end up owning every ice cream cookbook ever published, but I did own a lot of them. As is the way of accumulating mortals, I’ve gotten busy in the last year or two and haven’t made ice cream nearly as much. However, I continued to keep my treasures on a shelf in the laundry room by the ice cream maker and it gave me pleasure to know that if I wanted an obscure ice cream recipe, I could probably find it.
On Saturday, we noticed a strong chlorine smell in the house. I figured Amelia, who had been working to do an extra good job on the bathroom, had gotten over enthusiastic with the Scrubbing Bubbles again. Personally, I spent a good share of the day in the laundry room. Unfortunately, even when I noticed the tell-tale little spots on my pants, I didn’t connect them with the odor. Later we discovered the bottle of bleach that had tipped off the dryer on to the counter where the cookbooks were.
Silver lining: My two favorite ice cream cookbooks
How to Make Ice Cream by Cook’s Illustrated
were safe in the living room upstairs:
- How to color well
- How to cut straight
- How to glue (quickly, effectively, wrinkle-free, and without making a mess)
I didn’t enjoy being the laggard in my kindergarten classes. But somehow I thought that as I got older and other subjects took the pride of place that coloring, cutting and pasting enjoyed in my kindergarten classes, my poor skills wouldn’t matter so much.
Sigh. Hellooooooo parenthood: Scissors and gluestick, we must renew our acquaintance.
My daughter’s teacher assured me that of course we should work on her project together. She could learn by watching me. As Facebook chatter began to reveal that other parents were beginning to finish up the same project with their kids, I found myself filled with kindergarten angst once again. What if my picture (display) isn’t as good as the other kids’ (parents’)? Will the teacher think I’m stupid?
It is pathetic that after 20+ years of schooling I still have something to prove. Kindergarten angst runs deep. Here’s hoping that Amelia’s next big project will involve writing Socratic-style dialogues and that I don’t hear the phrase “display board” for a long, long time.
1) Yes, I know she is (still) adorable.
2) Yes, I know it will grow.
3) Yes, I know it will be easier for me to take care of.
But I am still sad. I don’t know how this happened. I took her in to get a little trim to tidy things up a bit. I thought maybe they could undercut it a little to make it turn under at the bottom. How did 5 inches off and full layers happen?!
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- Kate before
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- Kate after
They came to visit and brought these small gifts:
I’ve had my comeuppance. Will it help? I don’t know. I’ve had comeuppances before.
But $350 and 150 minutes (with two year old in full action at the dealership) is a lot to pay for losing your key. If trauma and sacrifice can etch the memory, this should do it.
I know what I have to do now: always put the key in the same place. Can I do it? I’m a bit frightened because always returning the key to the same spot was my plan before. You know, when I lost the keys. And when I lost them again. And again. I feel like my plan needs more detail somehow. But what detail is there other than “return key to spot”?
Whiny
So I took Duncan to the doctor on Friday for his skin problem. I thought it was a hassle that I’d put off too long, but I knew what he had (impetigo) and I knew that getting antibiotics would take care of it.
I was wrong. He has molluscum contagiosum. For those of you not curious enough to click on the link, I’ll spare you most of the details, but trust me, you don’t want to get this. It is contagious, it is ugly, and it is painful to get rid of.
Duncan isn’t the only one with problems. Kate was diagnosed last week with a significant speech delay. We don’t know why she is behind, but it looks like we probably have lots and lots of speech therapy ahead. Given my own super-fun experience with speech therapy as a child, I am dreading it.
As I was driving home from the doctor with Duncan, I started to feel whiny. What nasty stuff Duncan has. Why are we so susceptible to skin problems? Why do we have these issues? What bad luck! I don’t want to deal with these things. I don’t want my children to have to suffer. I’m tired of it. Bleh. And so on.
A little wiser?
And then for no apparent reason, a ray of wisdom broke through my typically whiny self banter: Your children have been amazingly healthy this winter. You were so worried when it was discovered that penicillin was out of the question for Kate, and yet it has now been over a year and she has never needed antibiotics. What do you call a 2 year old who doesn’t get sick!?!?! A miracle.
And what of comparisons: You want to say how unfortunate and unlucky your family is, but what if someone actually had something serious? You could be taking a child with leukemia to the doctor—to the hospital. Or how about we disregard the hypotheticals? Pmom: you know people with children who have far more serious medical issues than the ones you are worrying about. WHERE IS THE GRATITUDE? WHERE IS THE PERSPECTIVE?
So then, I was ashamed. And thoughtful. And thankful. We are lucky. We are blessed. Molluscum isn’t any fun and I’m so sorry for Duncan. But I am glad for him too.
So, if someone poured water on your computer, how long would you wait before turning it back on?
And, would you simply wait? Or:
Put it in a low oven?
Blow it with a hairdryer?
Pour denatured alcohol into it?
Incident Report
Friday: A terrorist, believed to be acting alone, scored a direct hit on a high value target this morning. An experienced Homeland Security agent was present and monitoring the facilities but unable to avert the stealth attack. Preliminary investigations suggest it was likely the work of a homegrown threat rather than Islamic extremism.
Facts:
Date of incident: 10:46 a.m., 03-27-2009
Weapon: H20 filled flotation device repurposed as projectile
Current disposition of high value target: inoperational
Final status: unknown
Outlook: Grave. The high value equipment targeted is essential to homeland sanity.
High Value Target: Inoperational
Suspect currently in custody.
Languages spoken
Babblelonian: fluent
English: few words
Weight: 30 lbs
Height: 34 inches
Hair: brown
Eyes: blue
Suspect in Custody
This is what I came across right after I put Duncan’s birthday cake in the oven:
It was a bad day. A day about as bad as you can get without anything meaningfully bad (death of loved ones, serious illness or accident, house burning down, loss of entire computer hard drive, etc.) happening.
A Chronology:
1. I leave my friend’s home in a rush. I urgently need diapers and have to be home before Duncan’s preschool carpool arrives. We drive directly to Target. Upon arrival, I discover that my purse is missing.