The only problem with having my mom visit is that it reminds me of what a poor housekeeper I am (Despite some at times half-hearted, at times a lot more than half-hearted, efforts to be otherwise!). Somehow the neat and tidy gene that both my parents seem to have has skipped me. I inherited their desire for neat and tidy but not the make-it-happen part.

Anyway, one of the truly helpful things she did while she was here was to organize our games closet which had fallen into a state of entropy so complete that some of us doubted it could ever be restored. Et voila!

The Pfamily Game Closet: What a difference a grandma makes!

I was so inspired by the transformation that on Monday I tackled my own clothing closet and completely cleaned it out. Take that, entropy!

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This post is about entropy and grandma appreciation. Come back tomorrow for a discussion of which games are good/fun and why. I’d love to hear what’s in your games closet!

Amelia’s regional bee was Saturday morning. It was one of the largest spelling bees I’ve ever seen.

There were 57 contestants and a huge audience of parents, siblings, and supporters. Amelia was very nervous, but I was excited. She had taken a test of the ~250 challenge words early that morning and missed only 5. I had tested her on the ~950 (not necessarily so basic) “basic” words in the past few days and she had spelled 97% of them correctly, quickly mastering the ones that she missed. We knew that once the judges abandoned the study book and started asking words from the unpublished list, all bets were off, but I thought she had a good chance of placing well.

Her first word was “jovial,” and she passed that first hurdle without trouble. The second round was different. Her word was “obsequious.” This was still a study book word–I had asked her that word the very morning of the bee and she had spelled it correctly. But somehow, under the lights and in front of the crowd, things felt different, and she started off with a u. Ohhhh.

She returned to us blinking back tears. She was brave, but there was no denying that it was a tough moment, with other moments of struggle sprinkled throughout the day. Amelia and I have prepared for the bee off and on with varying intensity since September. The last six weeks or so were particularly intense. There were a few days when she blew off my suggestion of practice to just go outside and be a kid or read a book, but there were plenty of other mornings when she set her alarm for 6 and asked if I could come and work with her. True, she has a natural gift for acquiring vocabulary, but more salient is her determination, her doggedness and her drive. All this meant that Saturday was a little sad, despite her obvious achievement of making it to the regional bee in the first place, and attending it fully prepared in the second.

Sometimes when facing a sadness like this, there just isn’t much to say. You feel like the world is ending, but you know it isn’t. You need to shake it off, but you’re not ready. So after a busy day in which she ate lunch out with her grandparents, attended a birthday party, and begged out of the family Costco run, we found a few quiet moments alone in the early evening. We put our arms around each other and held on. We didn’t say anything — we didn’t need to.

Amelia is disappointed of course, but I am disappointed too. At first I feared that this was an unworthy emotion: The Pushy Parent rears her ugly head! But then I came to realize that the reason I am disappointed is that it’s over. I love studying with Amelia. I love to talk about the words. I love the shared experience of working together towards a tough but attainable goal. I loved our quiet time alone in the mornings; I will miss it. Really, I just love Amelia.

I am thankful that I am not the only person with “issues.” : ) I find it comforting to realize that my family of origin family members struggle with many of the same flaws that I do. It is comforting, because I realize that it is not just me, eccentric and alone, but somehow some of these things are just hardwired in. Now this isn’t to say that I have reason not to attempt change. Change would make me a calmer, happier person. So, I want change. But it is to realize that just as some are born as alcoholics, others are born as meddling OC control freaks (well, born, or maybe raised that way so that when they are 35, they struggle to see other ways). If I work, I can recover. ButI still I like knowing that it’s not just some weird evil awful eccentricity about me. I come by it quite naturally. Also, I find it helpful to spend time with similarly struggling family members, because it’s as though they hold up a mirror to myself and I can see better what it is I need to fix.

I hope all of this makes sense. I’m not trying to disparage family members, I’m trying to say that they make me feel that I’m not alone, and help me recognize how I still need to change.

I want to say more about how I’m thankful for Pdad and I’m thankful for being able to reason through things–we’ve been going over the voucher issue for hours–as things stand, our votes will cancel. It’s frustrating, but it’s nice too. It’s seldom the case that you get to follow out such an extended argument. I’ve enjoyed it. But I do wish I could sway him. I don’t like people I love believing things I think are wrong! I still don’t believe we’ve gotten down to the agree-to-disagree bottom of it. I still have more reasons, not just some inexplicable preference for my position.

Well, Kate is stirring, and it’s 3 a.m., so I have to go.

I am thankful that they taught me to be interested in political issues and to be an active citizen.