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I like this blog. I enjoy writing here.
My blog used to be more anonymous. Other than Pdad, no one but strangers read it because I didn’t tell anyone where to find it. In its most recent incarnation, it’s been anonymous in that I don’t use any of our actual names. However, almost everyone who reads it with any regularity knows me personally (although some of you are getting pretty fuzzy on what my children’s real names are), so it is not very anonymous in that sense.
On my about me page, I wrote about my religious beliefs, which were never meant to be hidden. However, because I have many friends who are not Latter-day Saints (Mormon), I ended up leaving out some of the specifics of my life because I didn’t want this to be one of those blogs written by Latter-day Saints for Latter-day Saints. I was hoping to write something more widely accessible and interesting.
However, I find that this is not working for me. In hoping not to be too narrow, I seem to end up not writing about things that are an important part of my life. So, I’m thinking I’m going to go local. I am going to write more from my perspective as a Latter-day Saint, because it’s a truer view of where I am. This is my blog and it’s about me, as embarrassing as that sometimes is. Also, even though it challenges my desired anonymity a bit more, I am going to write more specifically about living in the Provo/Orem/Salt Lake City Utah area. It’s where I live and it’s what I know about. (And for those of you who live here too, I have a really wonderful restaurant to recommend!)
So, in my last post, I asked some questions about monitoring the books our children read. And then I focused on how a good parent implements her intentions after answering those questions. In this post, I will go back to the question of what makes a book good or bad.
Good books are those we read for entertainment, edification, and education (but not necessarily all three in the same book). Ideally, my children (and I!) will read many books that are”virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy.” [Rosalie and I must be on the same wavelength because I had written this before I saw her comment on the previous post]. Many books are not praiseworthy because they are mindless fluff and/or poorly written. Many other books are not lovely or of good report.
As revealed by Therese and Robin’s comments, there are at least two senses in which a book can be bad: a) it can be objectionable because it is inappropriate, either inappropriate in general [not virtuous, not of good report, not praiseworthy] or inappropriate for a certain age group or particular child or b) it can be of poor quality in the sense that it does not have content worth reading or in the sense that it is poorly written [not lovely, not praiseworthy]. Correspondingly, there are two ways in which books can be good. a) They can be appropriate in the sense that they are not objectionable (a pathetically weak sense of good, to be sure) or b) they can be well written and have content worth reading [lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy].
After reading your thoughtful comments on my previous post, I was surprised to find that I may be the biggest censorship advocate in the group. As I said before, where books are concerned, I think it is better to err on the side of restricting too little rather than too much. However, I disagree with Zina’s comment that “there’s probably nothing *too* bad within the spectrum of what Amelia’s likely to read.” I think there’s quite a bit of bad stuff out there (yikes, look at the covers of the magazines at the grocery store), in the sense that there are a lot of books that would be inappropriate for Amelia to read ever, and even more that are inappropriate for her to read right now.
I was inspired to write my first post about censorship after finishing the book A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I had never read it before and found it as I was searching through reviews looking for books that would be good for Amelia. Let me be clear, I really liked A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Although it isn’t always “lovely” in the most literal sense (because the heroine’s life is difficult as are the lives of those she is closest to), it was praiseworthy. I would give it a good report! However, I do not want Amelia to read it. Not yet. And especially if we don’t read it together. I do hope that she will read it in a couple of years. Tree falls in my “inappropriate at this age” category. Amelia is ten years old. The heroine of Tree has to face some adult issues fairly early in her life. Amelia doesn’t. She has time enough.
I am interested in whether any of you have read Tree and would take issue with me. I wonder whether my stand is silly (in a sense it’s not a big deal because Amelia isn’t begging to read it, but the issue of what it is okay for her to read comes up again and again). Like Zina, I was also a precocious reader. My mother did a good job of teaching me which books to seek out and which to avoid, but still–I read some books that I would no doubt judge as inappropriate for Amelia. As Zina mentioned, it is difficult to identify or label the specific harm. Also, children are naturally curious. (Advanced readers are perhaps even more curious than most children. That’s part of why they read). The forbidden is even more interesting . . . I know all that. And I am continually surprised at the subject matters my young children are introduced to through my addiction to National Public Radio. Is sheltering the young even possible in our world? Does what they read matter? Especially in mild (inappropriate at this age) cases like Tree?
I know that arguments can be made in both directions. Like so much of parenting for me, the worry will continue regardless of which path I choose. It will just change it’s object: What if she’s too sheltered? What if she’s unprepared? What if I cause her to rebel? What if she grows up too fast? What if she becomes cynical before ever being both mature and happy?
Two specific categories of books that I worry about for Amelia are books centered around romance and books with sexual content. Given the state of our culture, I think even fairly young children need to know a lot of facts, and Amelia knows how women get babies. However, despite my commitment to knowledge for my children on this subject, I do not think novels are a good way for children to gain the information they need. First, although I believe Amelia should know the facts now, I hope the part of her life where these facts are hers is a decade distant. This isn’t information she needs to review frequently. Second, the books I am concerned about seldom portray the reality I would hope for for my daughter: long term married loving monogamous commitment. Since that reality is seldom portrayed, I am not eager for her to spend any significant time familiarizing herself with alternate competing possibilities.
I believe light romance can have its place. I am not about to ban Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. There are good reasons why romance is an attractive genre for both girls and women. Light romance can be fun and entertaining. In addition it is often a wonderful vehicle for excellent (and educational) historical fiction. That said, Amelia is ten. I think much of the romance reading should wait. Books that focus too much on young love—kissing and dating in the high school and college set—are harmful, not so much because they are outright objectionable, but because it’s just not time yet. Amelia won’t be allowed to date for six more years and I hope that it will be at least a decade before she marries. I want her to walk towards those years, not run. The next few years will bring the pull of urges that will tempt her to believe that her life should revolve solely around attracting romantic attention, that her worth is her value as someone’s lover. I don’t need books to introduce her to these feelings or to the world of romantic relationships before she feels its tug herself.
What do you think? Do you take issue with my characterization of good and bad books? Do you agree or disagree that knowledge of some things can come too early?
Of course, I guess I didn’t actually miss it. I was here at that moment—busy trying to record it. Is there a lesson in that somewhere?
In Memoriam
Red Laptop, January 2009-June 2009
Dear Red Laptop,
I did not know you long. I would have liked to have gotten to know you better. To be honest, in our short acquaintance I didn’t figure out enough about what makes you tick to ensure that our relationship went smoothly. And now you are gone. I am filled with regrets.
Mostly I regret that I wasn’t able to teach the one who runs not to run in the room where running isn’t allowed. It was manslaughter not murder, but you are gone just the same. Your DNA may survive [I hope, cross your fingers everyone], but we will never compose blog posts together again.
I miss you already. Your loss changes everything. My freedom is gone. And spontaneity–blogging here, there, everywhere–is just a memory.
Please don’t be offended to learn that I’m already thinking about dating other computers. I know it’s soon, but I have needs. Honestly, what I need is to make a substantial commitment and soon [whether we can afford it--that's a different question]. I don’t know which model would be my best match. Someone thinner? Someone smarter? Someone faster or cheaper? I’m not sure, but I’ve learned this: sturdier is better than handsome. I’m eyeing your brothers and cousins, and I’m dreaming of strangers [different brands] as well. But I really wish I didn’t have to replace you at all.
Goodbye.
Pmom
I’m excited to announce a new feature here at Chocolate & Garlic: Stuff Worth Buying.
This will be an eclectic review feature: A look at everything from the Spotbot to the Colgate 360 Toothbrush to Alpaca farms and yarn. The theme that ties these diverse items together is that they are stuff worth buying, a favorite of the person who reviews them. Any product will be fair game for review so long as it is tasteful, really enjoyed by the reviewer, and the reviewer has no financial interest in/or possibility of benefiting from reviewing the product.
If you know of stuff worth buying, please contact me at ChocolateandGarlic [at] gmail.com — I’d love to feature your review!
Most of my traffic is not from search engines. But Google Analytics shows that I have had 93 visits on the basis of 53 keywords. Woo-hoo! I am sure it is obvious that I am still a little overeager about the whole blogging thing-(despite my inconsistent posting habits)—vague daydreams of thousands of subscribers and all that (thank you, you loyal 19, my inaugural readers). I am sure all blogging empires begin with a small subscriber base and a tiny trickle of search engine visitors (or maybe not).
Anyway, today I want to pretend to be like one of the grand bloggers, like Rocks in My Dryer, by responding to the searches that have landed random strangers on my blog. So here it is: my first edition of Google questions and answers (answers not guaranteed):
GARDENING
1. When to prune garlic?
I don’t know. I haven’t grown it. But I would think it would be like growing onions. Why do you need to prune it anyway?
2. My gaura plant looks dead.
Mine too. I’ve been meaning to do a post just on this. I’m beginning to suspect that my pink gaura (appleblossom grass) were not as cold hardy as I’d hoped.
3. Mint varieties for sale.
Limitless.
4. Mint that tolerates full sun
Don’t they all? Or most of them? Mint is a sunlover. You shouldn’t have any problems.
5. Is Catmint and Hummingbird Mint the same?
No. Catmint is Nepeta and Hummingbird Mint is a type of Agastache. They are related, because they are both members of the Lamiaceae (mint) family, which is why they both have fragrant leaves. My catmint is the “Walker’s Low” cultivar. It is shorter than the hummingbird mint (Agastache) and it gets going in the spring while the hummingbird mint is still asleep–it blooms in late summer. Catmint is a gorgeous purpley blue, where the hummingbird mint is dark hot pink. I have seen Walker’s Low Catmint recommended as a companion plant for agastache (of which Hummingbird Mint is one type).
6. Ava Hummingbird mint seeds.
Do not exist. Ava is only available from High Country Gardens and it is cutting propagated.
MISCELLANEA
7. Who am I to be brilliant?/ Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
8. What to say to someone when they win a spelling bee
There are numerous possibilities, but I think all good answers probably start with “Congratulations!” Other ideas: You did great! What poise under pressure. You must have really studied. Did you know all of those words, or did you have to guess on some of them? How did you study? What kind of books do you like to read? You really had me on pins and needles, I could barely stand the suspense. I was rooting for you.
9. What household products can I use in my Spotbot?
There are only two I can vouch for with certainty: a) hot water (works great for almost everything) and then b) the expensive proprietary Bissell products designed for compact cleaners. c) Wait! Pdad informs me that he has had good success through spraying the carpet with Spotshot (a product not made by Bissell and not designed for use with the Spotbot) and then using the Spotbot filled with warm water on that same spot.
I would be leery of using any other chemical or cleaner, especially one that might foam up too much. I used my Spotbot on a friend’s carpet once, and she’d already sprayed something on it. The machine was soon overwhelmed by lather. I was afraid the motor would burn out and the foam made it much harder to use.
10. How much money are hummingbirds?
Wow, can you buy them? How would you keep them? A small cage seems inhumane.
11. Licorice gelato recipe
I have been searching the earth for this for the past fifteen years. My ice cream/gelato cookbook collection is in two digits and I have seen only a couple of possible recipes. Nothing like the ebony nirvana taste sensation of my memories. My pledge: Someday I will visit Austria and eat it again.
12. hp dv5t trackpad, i like pmom 
I like Pdad. A man who designs search queries just to send surprise messages via google analytics is a man indeed.
I have a favicon now! Favicon is short for “favorites icon.” It is the tiny little picture that shows up above the address bar in your browser–like the red outlined envelope for Google or the W for Wikipedia. Yea! Thanks Pdad!
(This photo of Duncan is not recent, but it captures something that seemed relevant).
Pdad was out of town again. . .
I have no time to post, but:
a) I think my blog is finally working properly for the first time in a week! Hooray!
b) Did you notice that the header, button, navbar and title fonts all match for the first time in the existence of this blog? Hallelujah! The previous close-yet not matching-ness was very disturbing. Many, many, many thanks to Pdad without whom this feat would not have been possible. He fixed what my paid helpers did not. Perhaps I should put credits for him at the bottom of the page!
My blog just hit a milestone! The spend it on fruits and vegetables post was number 100. Happy 100 posts day to me, Happy 100 posts day to me. Happy 100 po-ost day to-oo me, Happy 100 posts day to me.
To help celebrate, I’m asking every reader of this blog to browse through my archives.* I’d love to hear which post you found most interesting/funny/worth reading/controversial/surprising etc.
*I’m using an awesome archives plug-in called Clean Archives Reloaded. Click around the archive to see how it works. I like how this archive shows the title of each post, not just the day it was published.