Comments on: Normal

By: Therese

Therese — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:15:53 +0000

Hi Pmom! I meant to comment on this post earlier, but it got away from me … As an abnormal person myself (being full of every sort of oddness) and someone who knows few people who are even outwardly normal, I do tend to think normality is not the norm. I’m always seeing crazy statistics – like 1% of the population is sociopathic. 1% – that’s a LOT of sociopaths! And something like 3% borderline personality disorder (or was that manic-depressive?) and a third of women suffering from clinical depression. It goes on and on, and when you add it all up, it seems that with mental illness alone your chances of meeting a fully “normal” person on any chance encounter are considerably lower than 50-50. And then there are all the other sorts of bodily illnesses and handicaps, and then there are all the possibilities of being made weird from external causes like a weird environment or contact with weird people … or the chance of injury or physical or mental trauma … or maybe you live in a war-torn or disaster-ridden or poverty-stricken country, and wish you could just be “normal” like the people in peaceful, prosperous Western countries. Yes, normal is rare. Show me a normal person and I will gawk at them.

I don’t mean to minimize the pain of worrying that one or one’s loved ones are abnormal. I know that is hard, no matter how many comforting statistics anyone cites. Just glad to hear that Kate didn’t have bad results from the tests.
.-= Therese´s last blog ..Persuasion =-.

By: amanda

amanda — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:34:08 +0000

I just have to say again what another poster said. Normal is an illusion. It is hard to remember that in our lives, but we should–me included. Thanks for sharing your experiences via blog– it is helpful to me

By: Pmom

Pmom — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 10:03:06 +0000

Thanks to everyone for your concern about Kate. Robin–I don’t think there will be any more doctor appointments for a while. As far as I can tell, we’ve pretty much exhausted their investigative resources. Unfortunately, we’re back to exactly where we were in October, except 1) the insurance company has $10,000 less 2) a bunch of awful things have been ruled out and 3) her tremor now occurs more frequently and is more pronounced. Her neurologist is going to monitor where she’s at in four months, but I don’t think there is any plan for what to do next other than watch and wait.

By: Pmom

Pmom — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:35:28 +0000

After reading the comments here and those that I have received by e-mail, I fear that the original version of this post may mislead people who don’t know my children or who don’t get to see them regularly. I have tried to revise it a little, but let me be explicit: in most respects my kids are doing great. We are fortunate in that the various challenges they face are just one element of their lives, not their entire lives. I believe that people who see them at school, at church, and in the neighborhood probably see them as more or less normal, happy kids. That is part of the point I am trying to make. Challenges and differences from the norm are part of being normal.

This post wasn’t meant to be a tale of woe about our children. What I am trying (but failing) to express is the wear and tear of the frustration that results from some of their challenges. However, all in all, we know how blessed we are. Our kids are great and we are so thankful for them. Also, despite their smaller and larger challenges, our kids are very blessed to have the lives they do. They are growing into unique and interesting people with special talents. I think I will take this as an opportunity to brag about them for a minute because I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t see that they are wonderful and greatly blessed.

Amelia is in a gifted program, and while it has been a terrible struggle for her, she is there because she is gifted. She had one of the highest scores in the district to qualify for the program. She is an articulate young lady with a vocabulary that surpasses most highschoolers. Some of her most notable characteristics are her intellectual curiosity (she was born to be a professor or a scientist)–she wants to understand everything–and her persistence. I know that she will go far in life because she doesn’t give up. She is motivated to achieve and works hard to accomplish the high goals she sets for herself.

Duncan is strikingly handsome with his blue, blue eyes and ready smile. He has a wonderful ability to joy in life. I find that I am a happier person just because I spend time with him. He is a hard worker. One of the most notable things about him is high degree of creativity. This manifests itself in two ways: first, he is very imaginative and can entertain himself for hours in his make believe world. Second, he is an artist in the tradition of Walter Wick. He has a tremendous ability to reimagine ordinary objects in new ways. I can’t wait to see what he will do with his life.

Kate just turned three, so I don’t know as much about the person she will be as I do with the others. I do know this: she is a wonderful, pleasant, sweet child. I would have missed out so much if I had decided not to have another baby! She likes to make faces and she is really cute. Her recent mode of locomotion has been almost exclusively jumping and skipping. She likes people and is thrilled to be alive.

By: Alithr

Alithr — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:21:52 +0000

As one who knows the Pclan and has seen you and your kids in action, I never knew ANY of this drama was happening! I am, admittedly, oblivious, and moreso now than usual, but “Normal” is indeed overrated, and an illusion. I am glad all Kates tests have come back negative for the real scary stuff, and pray that the tremor will stop in time. As for the rest, make some garlicy pasta, and one of your great molten chocolate cupcakes (In the ramikins) that we dream about and relax! You have everything you need to be content! You ARE a blessed woman, and you pass those blessings on to us!

By: Sharon

Sharon — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 03:56:31 +0000

I’m a big fan of the whole Pclan. That’s all I have to say about that.

By: Robin

Robin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:30:54 +0000

Oh, I’m so sorry for all the stuff you’ve had to deal with! Each of us has our own challenges, it’s true, but sometimes it seems like some people get more than their fair share doled out to them. So are you done with Kate’s doctor’s appointments for a while or are you going to keep looking for an answer? Have you tried any non-speech-therapy things for the stuttering? I’ve heard that singing lessons or reciting poetry for some reason help. I believe I remember hearing that James Earl Jones had a terrible stutter as a child, and overcame it through drama lessons. Just keep plowing through–you’ve got a great husband and loving family to help you out. It’ll get better!

By: liz

liz — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:29:12 +0000

Definitely normal to have problems. Your kids certainly have some real ones, and I would never want to minimize your concerns for them as a parent. The older my kids get, the more real some of their challenges (some more obvious than others) seem. My idea is that as a parent, we are here to help them weather their challenges and discover their individual strengths (the flip side). I guess that’s obvious. Isn’t parenting harder than you ever thought it would be?

I know that each of your children is brilliant and talented, and while we can’t ignore the hard things, it does help me sometimes to focus instead on the good ones. Obvious again. This whole comment seems a little glib (perhaps that’s one of my challenges) but I want you to know that you’re not alone. Oh, and we’re so glad that Kate’s tests have eliminated the scariest possibilities.