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I like the idea of often using this blog as a gratitude journal. But I don’t always feel sunny. January, for example doesn’t seem to have much to recommend it. Weather = bad. Anticipation = none. Children = back in school. Pdad = back to work. My goals for the vacation = unmet. I really like the days we had off of work and school, I just wish there could be more of them. And now, as so often, it seems like there is so much to do. I wonder how I can possibly get it all done. I’m not sure which strategy to choose: first get the house clean, then make returns? First make returns, then get the house clean? First do errands (carwash, preschool signup, grocery shopping), then clean house? Meanwhile, outside of this routine, where do I find time to work on the new things, the things I wanted to do better or spend more time on this year? If I get all or even a lot of these things done as I so much want to do, will it mean that I am messing up on something else? That when Kate and Duncan asked me to read to them, I said “later?”
At Church today, we were counseled to make and honor New Year’s Resolutions. I think of New Year’s as a secular holiday and of New Year’s Resolutions as a therefore secular practice. However, I guess there is no reason it has to be that way. Making resolutions is a practice full of hope. Hope than one can change and that things can be different. Hope can transform a slog into something else. It is January. I am desperate for that hope.
It is tricky to set resolutions realistically–high enough to be worth doing, but reasonable enough to be possible to accomplish. I find that when I consider all the possible resolutions I could resolve–fix dinner every night, fix dinners that include vegetables, stay current with the laundry, file all paper and keep it filed, learn windows 7, learn word 2007, be in bed no later than 11:00, read with Duncan every day, make time to play with the kids every day, read several books, exercise, be loving, stop criticizing, donate blood every 56 days, help my neighbor improve her English, read the scriptures every day, blog every day–it is discouraging. It is discouraging because if I am honest with myself I know I can’t accomplish all of those things. If I resolve all of those things, I will fail. But I do want to resolve them, because these are things I really need to do and really want to do.
How do I select between such worthwhile resolutions? Suddenly, making resolutions doesn’t seem secular at all. I can’t possibly sincerely participate in this resolution ritual without prayer. I can’t accomplish my resolutions alone. I can’t even decide what to resolve. Despite my misgivings about January, I am grateful. I have a father to to turn to, to ask for counsel, to pray to. I can put my anxieties in his hands and follow his paths.
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5 Responses to “January–Back to the Slog or Resolutions”
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I hope it’s not too provocative of me to ask, but does “secular” always equate automatically with bad?
Therese´s last blog ..The Great (Ex)Mormon Novel
Just blog once a week, donate blood 2 times a year, exercise with your kids, and stop reading books. That’s what I do and it is working. It is so fun hearing from you. Post more pictures though. I have a blog too angelamakescookies.blogspot.com
Therese–good question. You’ll probably have to try harder than that if your goal is to be provocative though. The answer is obviously no. I think what I was (clumsily) trying to say is that it is a secular holiday with no deeper meaning behind the rituals and should therefore be considered dispensable– hinging on desire or lack thereof. However, as with other secular holidays, for example the 4th of July in the U.S., it turns out that I enjoy it and find some aspect of the celebration ritual valuable–deeper meaning or no. Does this make sense?
Angela: Please describe how you exercise with your kids. I haven’t figured out how to do that.
Definitely makes sense! Kind of the reverse of how I justify celebrating Christmas (love the trees, presents, food, music, Santa, etc!) despite my not being religious …
Therese´s last blog ..The Great (Ex)Mormon Novel