Duncan went to a birthday party yesterday and received a goody bag that included an entire package of gum–treasure almost unknown to my dear boy. He waited until he had my full attention, and then asked, in a sweet and pleading voice, “Mommy, will you  please not take this away from me and then save it as a reward?”

Would I do that?

He thinks I would. Really? Am I the wicked witch of the West?

We have been working on obedience this week. Recently I have realized that I am teaching Duncan to be disobedient. I ask him to get in the car far before we actually need to go (which teaches him that there is no urgency to my requests) because I don’t actually expect him to make it there until I’ve asked him 4 or 5 times and threatened him. I ask him to take something to his room, but I say nothing when he doesn’t. While I have insisted verbally that disobedience is not okay, I have shown him through my actions and reactions that disobedience is perfectly acceptable.

So I went draconian this week, trying to prove that disobedience is not acceptable. In the past, we’ve sent him to his room when he was misbehaving. The problem is, we’ve gotten to the point where we are constantly sending him to his room. Often he seems eager to go. This isn’t working. Time to try something new. So this week, each time he’s disobeyed, I’ve taken one of his stuffed animals. (I plan to give them back on Sunday). No more threats, no more endless reminders, simply, you disobey=> you lose an animal. This seems to be working very quickly to teach him the perils of disobedience. The problem is, I feel like I am on the wrong side in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. My punishment doesn’t seem like a natural consequence, but just something that I know is disagreeable to him that I selected for lack of any better ideas.

Also, what am I going to do when there are no more stuffed animals to remove? Start destroying settlements (kleenex boxes he has made into homes for his animals)? True, I would love to rid his room of the found art (kleenex boxes, yogurt containers, and other random items repurposed from the kitchen), but I don’t know that this is the right way . . .