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It’s that time on the parenting clock.* We have a 2 year old in the house.
When Kate began regularly standing next to the toilet and tugging on her clothes plaintively crying “poo, poo, poo, poo,” I thought it was a sign of readiness. When she stood in the cart at Costco and peed through the cart and on to the floor (except the part intercepted by my bag of frozen burritos), I felt we couldn’t put it off any longer.
Well. Here we are. Two months later. She has been night dry for weeks and weeks and weeks (Thank you, genetic lottery!) And there have been entire weeks during the past two months during which she did not have a single daytime accident. Ultimate success is still elusive, however.
Consider the following important principles:
1) You can take a child to the potty, but you can’t make her pee.
2) Your child can take you to the potty, but if she won’t use it, it might not feel like success.
3) Candy can be a helpful tool.
a. Offer the child something she really wants in exchange for something you really want and the agency and tender feelings of each party are preserved.
b. If you have a child who, while on vacation, happily peed in strange potties all over coastal Oregon (to the point that every one of your restaurant reviews on TripAdvisor includes a restroom review as well) do not congratulate yourself too soon. [When it comes to potty training in general, avoid premature feelings of relief or satisfaction. You will be sorry!] If that same child comes home and suddenly and inexplicably decides that there is only one true potty in the entire world, and it is not at Target, not at Grandma’s, not at the grocery store, not as this restaurant or that one–well, candy can help the two of you find a saner place.
c. If you are solving your toilet-training problems with candy, at some point you are going to need/want to drop that incentive. Will your daughter feel the same?
*I wrote most of this post a few weeks ago, but had to relegate it to the drafts folder after another accident and my ensuing feelings of despair. Currently, however, I am experiencing feelings of relief and satisfaction. Premature? Time will tell. But the last Smartie was eaten three days ago, and things are going well here!
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3 Responses to “My Daughter Pees for Candy”
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Candy has worked wonders for us both times I’ve potty-trained! So has a basket of toys from the dollar store. In our case, they both forgot about the treats once they really got it down. Good luck to you both!
You were in Oregon and didn’t come see us! waaa!
We’re hoping to get to
there late summer or early fall, maybe we can see you then.
Oh Ashley, it was a spur of the moment trip, and we didn’t even think about the fact that you guys live there now. We love Oregon though, so I’m sure we’ll be back. I need to figure out which part of Oregon you’re in. We would love to see you, so please look us up when you’re here!