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Amelia’s regional bee was Saturday morning. It was one of the largest spelling bees I’ve ever seen.
There were 57 contestants and a huge audience of parents, siblings, and supporters. Amelia was very nervous, but I was excited. She had taken a test of the ~250 challenge words early that morning and missed only 5. I had tested her on the ~950 (not necessarily so basic) “basic” words in the past few days and she had spelled 97% of them correctly, quickly mastering the ones that she missed. We knew that once the judges abandoned the study book and started asking words from the unpublished list, all bets were off, but I thought she had a good chance of placing well.
Her first word was “jovial,” and she passed that first hurdle without trouble. The second round was different. Her word was “obsequious.” This was still a study book word–I had asked her that word the very morning of the bee and she had spelled it correctly. But somehow, under the lights and in front of the crowd, things felt different, and she started off with a u. Ohhhh.
She returned to us blinking back tears. She was brave, but there was no denying that it was a tough moment, with other moments of struggle sprinkled throughout the day. Amelia and I have prepared for the bee off and on with varying intensity since September. The last six weeks or so were particularly intense. There were a few days when she blew off my suggestion of practice to just go outside and be a kid or read a book, but there were plenty of other mornings when she set her alarm for 6 and asked if I could come and work with her. True, she has a natural gift for acquiring vocabulary, but more salient is her determination, her doggedness and her drive. All this meant that Saturday was a little sad, despite her obvious achievement of making it to the regional bee in the first place, and attending it fully prepared in the second.
Sometimes when facing a sadness like this, there just isn’t much to say. You feel like the world is ending, but you know it isn’t. You need to shake it off, but you’re not ready. So after a busy day in which she ate lunch out with her grandparents, attended a birthday party, and begged out of the family Costco run, we found a few quiet moments alone in the early evening. We put our arms around each other and held on. We didn’t say anything — we didn’t need to.
Amelia is disappointed of course, but I am disappointed too. At first I feared that this was an unworthy emotion: The Pushy Parent rears her ugly head! But then I came to realize that the reason I am disappointed is that it’s over. I love studying with Amelia. I love to talk about the words. I love the shared experience of working together towards a tough but attainable goal. I loved our quiet time alone in the mornings; I will miss it. Really, I just love Amelia.
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2 Responses to “After the Spelling Bee”
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While the outcome may not have been the most desired, I do believe it is how gracefully we handle the tough days as opposed to the good ones. The story has been retold more than once during the Olympics of a Russian coach who said that it was easy to determine which children should be trained to become great figure skaters — not those who skated the best, but those who got back up after they fell, those who did not complain or make excuses, those who listened intently to their coach, and constantly sought after ways to improve.
Amelia will likely never misspell obsequious again. I will never misspell “aforementioned.” What is more important, she will correctly spell thousands of other words for the rest of her life., and she has seen firsthand how dedication pays off. I’m not an expert, but it seems clear to me that her mistake was due to nerves at such an intimidating venue, not lack of preparation. Now she knows what it is like to go to the Regional Bee. She has years of eligibility left, and the hours of practice she has already invested will be the foundation of future successes if she decides to stick with it.
Should she stick with it? If she finds words fun, the answer in my mind is a resounding YES! Some kids wouldn’t enjoy it, but anyone that age that is willing to wake up early to practice certainly has what it takes.
I think anything that a person enjoys enough to get out of bed early to do is with pursuing. It is even better if multiple family members can enjoy the same thing. I wouldn’t grieve too much over the loss Pmom, if she’s remotely as tenacious as she sounds (and seems to be in person) she may start training even earlier next season. In the off time, I’m sure there is something else she’ll pursue that you can enjoy with her.
I agree with Hard Disk Driven, this may help Amelia see that work can be enjoyable, especially when done with someone you love and respect. I bet she can find other things to do with you that bring the same kind of satisfaction.