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So, I was about 8 or 9 years old before I learned that Santa Claus does not exist. When I found out, I was not dismayed. I was excited to know something that my siblings didn’t know and honored to be part of the plan to delight them by making sure they didn’t find out. I’m not sure when my views changed or precisely what triggered that change. However, I do know that by the time I was 19 I both surprised and horrified a date through my vehement insistence that children should be taught that Santa isn’t real.
When Amelia was born eight years later, I stuck to my convictions. Pdad, who also had been raised in a Santa-loving household, grudgingly agreed to go along with my ideas. So, why teach children that Santa isn’t real?
I have taught my children the truth about Santa Claus because I want to have the highest possible credibility with my children. I want to be the person that they turn to for frank discussions on important topics for many years to come. I want them to know that if I tell them something is true I believe it myself. Most importantly, when I testify to them that Jesus Christ is my Savior and I know that I will be able to return to my Father in Heaven, I want them to rely on this as they build towards receiving their own witness of the truth.
I tread lightly in saying this. I don’t doubt for a moment that my own parents, inlaws, and the many others who teach their children to believe in Santa Claus aren’t keenly interested in having strong credibility, plenty of frank dialogue, and relationships of trust with their children. Certainly, I am not trying to preach about what parenting decisions other couples should make. There are many, many of us who have been taught to believe in Santa Claus and have grown up to have good relationships with our parents, strong faith in Jesus Christ, and an excellent ability to differentiate between what is real and what is pretend.
Nevertheless–I don’t feel comfortable with assuring my children that Santa brings all the presents, visits every house in the world on Christmas Eve, and has flying reindeer in exactly the same way that I assure them that miracles happen and God loves and watches over them. I believe one of my important roles as a parent is teaching my children the difference between real and pretend.
Your thoughts?
To be continued–Part 3: Where Santa Theory and Practice Collide
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4 Responses to “The Truth about Santa Claus”
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Here’s my 2 cents. First off, I figured it would be more unnatural than it turned out to be just to tell our kids from the beginning that Santa isn’t real. It actually isn’t a big deal at all and the kids deal with it without any fuss and enjoy Santa just as much.
So…though I felt like I was making a bit of a sacrifice to go along with your view on this one, it hasn’t turned out to be one at all. And, as is usually the case in our marriage … when I go along with your view, you’re right–and I don’t feel compelled to list the rare counter-example
.
Nevertheless, I also don’t think it is a big deal to tell your kids that Santa is real. And here’s where (maybe?) we have slightly different views. I don’t think it sets them up to question other things a parent tells them. Your own example is tellijng…it wasn’t until you became a teenager that the idea of lying about Santa Claus bothered you. At that point, it sounds like it was more on principle. We don’t hear you actually beginning to wonder whether your parents really believe in Jesus.
In sum, I think people may as well tell their kids that Santa isn’t real…that it is just a big fun game we play. That is better, but if they don’t, this is a case where lying is pretty harmless.
Here’s a thought: is all lying bad? Would you lie to a friend you were preparing a surprise party for? Is telling any story that isn’t completely true a falsehood? When I interned for the Friend, they were making the transition to having to put the claim “based upon a true story” after every title so that people would know these were not fictional stories. The Friend used to do a lot of fictional stories that taught good LDS principles, but didn’t necessarily have to have actually happened. That included any story that involved talking animals or other common child-entertainment themes. Now, if it’s not “a true story”, they won’t print it. To me, that kind of loses something. Why do religion and imagination have to be at odds with each other? It kind of spawns the same sort of thinking that says that Harry Potter is teaching kids to reject Christianity and start studying the arcane arts.
I guess my point is that people learn how to separate the real from the imaginary as they grow older. I will never sincerely look at my children and say, “Kids, I KNOW that Santa is real. I have no doubt he is lives and knows each one of us,” whereas I will say those same things about Christ. We talk about Santa playfully, with smiles and a mishievious tone, not with the firmness and strength of the Spirit. Kids can tell the difference.
Your story about the Friend is an interesting one. [You interned at The Friend? How cool!] I had noticed those “based on a true story” tags, but didn’t know the background. On the one hand, I tend to agree–what’s wrong with a fictional story with a gospel message? On the other hand, The Friend seems to have plenty of “based on a true story” stories, so what do we miss out on when they leave the completely fictional stories out? Certainly, I think it adds something to know that a story teaching a religious principle is a true one. Perhaps it’s the difference between a Sunday School lesson where the teacher doesn’t offer her own personal witness that the principle in question is correct and one in which she does. Certainly, when such testimony is believable and the person testifying has some credibility with us, the second lesson carries far greater power.
One of my favorite movies is Akeelah and the Bee. While it is the sort of story that is easily imaginable as “based on a true story,” it isn’t. I would like the movie even more than I do if it were. Why? Because it’s a story of hope about how individual effort can change the course of one’s life. If it were based on a true story, the movie would be providing evidence for its own proposition in a way that it doesn’t as a purely fictional story. We hope that the hope the movie recommends is actual, but is it?
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Perhaps my less common stance on Santa stems from my greater than average gullibility. I had no idea that we were pretending. I always assume the same of the (apparently) Santa-believing children I see, but perhaps I am fooled.