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I am thankful that my sister was willing to come and help with Amelia’s Kool Klay project. (BTW: Koolaid does color playdough pleasingly, but the scent is not as strong as would be desirable). Her help made all the difference. It is funny to see how amazing Amelia thinks Sis is. I guess that’s related to the fact that she got all the talents I lack. Of course, as she explained to Amelia, she can sew because she took lessons. She can do origami because she works at it. She kneads well, because she has made hundreds of loaves of bread, etc. I know that I need to adopt more of a “You have the talent for it because you practice it mentality,” but I’m just not there yet. Notice that I heft 18 lb. Kate around all day. Yet, Sis, who does nothing of the sort, has unquestionably stronger arms. Practice doesn’t fix everything!
I am thankful that I am not the only person with “issues.” : ) I find it comforting to realize that my family of origin family members struggle with many of the same flaws that I do. It is comforting, because I realize that it is not just me, eccentric and alone, but somehow some of these things are just hardwired in. Now this isn’t to say that I have reason not to attempt change. Change would make me a calmer, happier person. So, I want change. But it is to realize that just as some are born as alcoholics, others are born as meddling OC control freaks (well, born, or maybe raised that way so that when they are 35, they struggle to see other ways). If I work, I can recover. ButI still I like knowing that it’s not just some weird evil awful eccentricity about me. I come by it quite naturally. Also, I find it helpful to spend time with similarly struggling family members, because it’s as though they hold up a mirror to myself and I can see better what it is I need to fix.
I hope all of this makes sense. I’m not trying to disparage family members, I’m trying to say that they make me feel that I’m not alone, and help me recognize how I still need to change.
I want to say more about how I’m thankful for Pdad and I’m thankful for being able to reason through things–we’ve been going over the voucher issue for hours–as things stand, our votes will cancel. It’s frustrating, but it’s nice too. It’s seldom the case that you get to follow out such an extended argument. I’ve enjoyed it. But I do wish I could sway him. I don’t like people I love believing things I think are wrong! I still don’t believe we’ve gotten down to the agree-to-disagree bottom of it. I still have more reasons, not just some inexplicable preference for my position.
Well, Kate is stirring, and it’s 3 a.m., so I have to go.
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